So many voices, do you have that too - everyone has their point of view, the way they look at things, their wisdom, their words of advice, their opinion.... and then there is the voice of the accuser, Satan himself, speaking and trying to deceive, to accuse. Voices and noise.
God is God of order not chaos.
Yesterday in church God reminded me that He speaks in His still small voice. And that is the only voice I want to hear. And I want to hear it clearly... I long to hear from my Jesus.
DanMike talked about Hebrews 11. Ive been resting on that chapter this week and thinking and wondering how many voices did Abraham ignore, Noah, Moses, Rahab.
I will follow and go and be anything or nothing - but i need the voice of God whispering over me. I want to know His voice above any - as sheep know their Shephard.
As we enter into a 6 month season of 24/7 prayer with our friends, I pray that God will speak, and i will come to know His voice more intimately.
God is calling, and guiding and so much wants to lavish us with His love.
Speak Heavenly Father - your daughter is listening.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
HEAVINESS
...weighs in my heart today.
Praying and thinking about a family from church that a little over a week ago had a baby girl with Downs Snydrome and a major heart defect. Doctors telling them to go home with their precious little girl and not giving her much time here on this earth. Watching this family walk this heart wrenching walk has been great testimony to living in God's strength. How as parents do you live in a place of "is this the day where Jesus calls her home" and each moment with her having more and more of your heart swell with love for her. We're believing God for a miracle that this precious one will have many days/years here with her family but also knowing that God knows the number of days He has planned for her.
Praying and thinking about another family in our church who got horrible news that their 18 year old daughter got killed in a snowmobile accident. Her funeral is tomorrow. They too, through their raw grief are giving testimony to the goodness of God. Only through His strength.
Praying and thinking about the devastation in Haiti with the 7.0 earthquake. All the lives lost, the pain and chaos that many are living in. My mind cant imagine, Our friends who have been waiting for two years to bring their adopted son home, hearing in their voice the urgency to get him out of there. Also hearing testimony of missionaries there, who run a certain orphanage, getting all the children out of the building and camping under the stars these past few nights - and a midst all the chaos they, with all the little orphans worship - They worship loudly and boldly to the King of Kings causings others to come and find HOPE.
Praying and thinking about our friends in Africa - reading about all the needs, from orphans, to widows, to training the men. Its daily survival for so many people. Seeing a video from my dear friend Vovo, thanking everyone for being the hands and feet of Jesus - and hearing her heart to be a place of PEACE in her dark community of Masi.
praying and thinking about my sister's family who are in Colombia right now, just received their two precious adopted daughters last month, and posting a blog entry today about all the orphans in just one orphanage in Bogota, who so badly want a family or their own - coming up to my sister asking "mia mamma" you be my mom?!! Also, knowing that the journey of parenting is a hard calling - one of the hardest - and yet anticipating what God is going to do in them and through them.
Overwhelming all the hurt, pain, need. Sometimes I can look at all this and say it's too much!! and get stuck at being so overwhelmed and not doing anything.
What God has been teaching me over these past few weeks is about His GRACE in my life. He is showing me my poverty, my need, my weakness, my sin. I dont need to go around the world to find it's in me.
He is showing me that it is 100% HIM. He pursues, He teaches, He opens hearts. It is nothing that I have done or could ever do.
On any given day I know more than ever, that I am so proned to wander. I desperatly seek His GRACE and His STRENGTH each moment. because on my own i always fail.
So having this truth being shown to me in a profound way - I now can look at other's pain, sin, poverty, and weakness and know that this is me and in and of myself there is nothing I can do - BUT also knowing the same power that raised Christ from the grave lives in me. And there is the diffence. ITS ALL JESUS.
And that is WHO I have to offer to this chaotic world.
I am thankful that we have a Father in Heaven - that never leaves us or forsakes us. I am beyond words to know that JESUS entered into my poverty and ugliness by death on a cross, so that I can be raised up from ashes to beauty - just as He is raised up in all SPELNDOR and POWER sitting on the Throne of Grace where we have open access to HIM.
Our calling as His Bride is to ready ourselves for HIS coming - and to bring PEACE into chaos one moment and one person at a time.
May the church rise up - May we each in our own calling and place, make the Name of Jesus Famous by living out our mission boldly and courageously.
Many of our questions will not be answered in this life... but oh, when we see JESUS face to face, our faith will be made sight. So lets link arms and throw off anything that is entangling us and run... run hard after the prize.
Praying and thinking about a family from church that a little over a week ago had a baby girl with Downs Snydrome and a major heart defect. Doctors telling them to go home with their precious little girl and not giving her much time here on this earth. Watching this family walk this heart wrenching walk has been great testimony to living in God's strength. How as parents do you live in a place of "is this the day where Jesus calls her home" and each moment with her having more and more of your heart swell with love for her. We're believing God for a miracle that this precious one will have many days/years here with her family but also knowing that God knows the number of days He has planned for her.
Praying and thinking about another family in our church who got horrible news that their 18 year old daughter got killed in a snowmobile accident. Her funeral is tomorrow. They too, through their raw grief are giving testimony to the goodness of God. Only through His strength.
Praying and thinking about the devastation in Haiti with the 7.0 earthquake. All the lives lost, the pain and chaos that many are living in. My mind cant imagine, Our friends who have been waiting for two years to bring their adopted son home, hearing in their voice the urgency to get him out of there. Also hearing testimony of missionaries there, who run a certain orphanage, getting all the children out of the building and camping under the stars these past few nights - and a midst all the chaos they, with all the little orphans worship - They worship loudly and boldly to the King of Kings causings others to come and find HOPE.
Praying and thinking about our friends in Africa - reading about all the needs, from orphans, to widows, to training the men. Its daily survival for so many people. Seeing a video from my dear friend Vovo, thanking everyone for being the hands and feet of Jesus - and hearing her heart to be a place of PEACE in her dark community of Masi.
praying and thinking about my sister's family who are in Colombia right now, just received their two precious adopted daughters last month, and posting a blog entry today about all the orphans in just one orphanage in Bogota, who so badly want a family or their own - coming up to my sister asking "mia mamma" you be my mom?!! Also, knowing that the journey of parenting is a hard calling - one of the hardest - and yet anticipating what God is going to do in them and through them.
Overwhelming all the hurt, pain, need. Sometimes I can look at all this and say it's too much!! and get stuck at being so overwhelmed and not doing anything.
What God has been teaching me over these past few weeks is about His GRACE in my life. He is showing me my poverty, my need, my weakness, my sin. I dont need to go around the world to find it's in me.
He is showing me that it is 100% HIM. He pursues, He teaches, He opens hearts. It is nothing that I have done or could ever do.
On any given day I know more than ever, that I am so proned to wander. I desperatly seek His GRACE and His STRENGTH each moment. because on my own i always fail.
So having this truth being shown to me in a profound way - I now can look at other's pain, sin, poverty, and weakness and know that this is me and in and of myself there is nothing I can do - BUT also knowing the same power that raised Christ from the grave lives in me. And there is the diffence. ITS ALL JESUS.
And that is WHO I have to offer to this chaotic world.
I am thankful that we have a Father in Heaven - that never leaves us or forsakes us. I am beyond words to know that JESUS entered into my poverty and ugliness by death on a cross, so that I can be raised up from ashes to beauty - just as He is raised up in all SPELNDOR and POWER sitting on the Throne of Grace where we have open access to HIM.
Our calling as His Bride is to ready ourselves for HIS coming - and to bring PEACE into chaos one moment and one person at a time.
May the church rise up - May we each in our own calling and place, make the Name of Jesus Famous by living out our mission boldly and courageously.
Many of our questions will not be answered in this life... but oh, when we see JESUS face to face, our faith will be made sight. So lets link arms and throw off anything that is entangling us and run... run hard after the prize.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
13 YEARS AGO
our beautiful Ally was born. These 13 years raising her has been one of God's greatest gifts to Kevin and I.
I remember that day so clearly, driving to the hospital in a snow storm, wondering to myself, could I ever love another baby as much as i love Sawyer, anticipating and dreaming what our little girl would look like, the labor for her to enter the world was - let just say WOW!! - never had and hopefully never will expereince that much pain. But i remembe rmost the feeliing of complete joy and love and awe when she finally made her way into this world and into my arms.
A beautiful baby girl with lots of thick black hair staring up at me, looking over at Kevin and seeing his daddy love and protectiveness for her bubble over and knowing this little girl was going to be a joy.
And right from the start she was, big brother sawyer loved her even through the months of colic, but by 3 month she was over that but her determination came through at a very young age. Walking at 9 months, talking at 10 months and keeping up with her older brother and mothering her younger brothers.
I have seen so much growth in ally over the years, her caring heart, her get it done personality, her love for little kids, her "nobody is going to walk over me" attidude and the way she is a great sister to her three brothers, and her sense of justice that lays deep in her heart. I listen and see dreams that God is giving her at a young age, and this sense of adventure.
I am so blessed to be called Ally Kay Smith's mom. I have learned so much about Jesus through her young life.
This is my prayer for you Ally - that you would become like Esther, standing tall for the the Lord, and humbling your heart in obediance to HIM, and knowing that you are a daughter of the KING. I pray that whatever comes your way in life that you share all of it with Jesus - He will be there and work in all things. I pray especially Colossians 3:12 that this truth would abide in you
Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humlity, gentleness and patience....above all put on love - the perfect bond of unity.
Teenager, I look forward to help navigate you through these exciting years Ally, thank you for being the very special daughter you are. You keep shining for CHRIST. I love you more than words could say. And I cant wait to see how God works in these next few years to mold you and make you more like HIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY - and as much as you dont like birthdays - we are celebrating you!!!
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010
...what will it bring. what will this next year bring, this next decade.
i love new beginnings, i love them more and more, stepping into something new.
...but I think one thing that I have learned in 2009 is that God timing is different then mine - that God is God and I am not. And that I have only begun to know a little about surrender.
its been a year where Jesus is teaching me more about the true meaning of the GOSPEL. My mind cant comprehend what He did for me, what He wants for me and what He is preparing for me - And then what He is calling me.
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevail. Proverbs 19:21
I know that God is making me more and more like Him. I feel Him cut things out of my heart and replacing them with Him. And so in many ways this has been a year of journeying in my heart. A quiet and personal journey with Jesus. And God giving me dreams and desires that could only come from Him - but then asking me to trust, wait and walk by faith and not by sight.
As reflecting back on 2009, God brought to mind that last year on Jan 1 2009 is when we invited Lisa and Neil to our home, we have had people living in and out for a whole year, and ironically (maybe) we packed Chelsea up on Dec 31 2009 for Alaska. Our home is just the 6 of us - until God brings someone else. Our home is His and our family is open to whatever He wills. we are sustained only in His GRACE and LOVE.
What will 2010 hold - HOPE and a FUTURE - declares the LORD. For me, sure I will continue to pray for miracles, because we serve and love a God who can, and I will pray for these dreams and desires in my heart to continue to grow and flower, I have lots of them for me and my family. But the greatest desire in my heart is this simple " to glorify Jesus with my life and enjoy Him" - whatever I am doing, wherever I am.
i love new beginnings, i love them more and more, stepping into something new.
...but I think one thing that I have learned in 2009 is that God timing is different then mine - that God is God and I am not. And that I have only begun to know a little about surrender.
its been a year where Jesus is teaching me more about the true meaning of the GOSPEL. My mind cant comprehend what He did for me, what He wants for me and what He is preparing for me - And then what He is calling me.
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevail. Proverbs 19:21
I know that God is making me more and more like Him. I feel Him cut things out of my heart and replacing them with Him. And so in many ways this has been a year of journeying in my heart. A quiet and personal journey with Jesus. And God giving me dreams and desires that could only come from Him - but then asking me to trust, wait and walk by faith and not by sight.
As reflecting back on 2009, God brought to mind that last year on Jan 1 2009 is when we invited Lisa and Neil to our home, we have had people living in and out for a whole year, and ironically (maybe) we packed Chelsea up on Dec 31 2009 for Alaska. Our home is just the 6 of us - until God brings someone else. Our home is His and our family is open to whatever He wills. we are sustained only in His GRACE and LOVE.
What will 2010 hold - HOPE and a FUTURE - declares the LORD. For me, sure I will continue to pray for miracles, because we serve and love a God who can, and I will pray for these dreams and desires in my heart to continue to grow and flower, I have lots of them for me and my family. But the greatest desire in my heart is this simple " to glorify Jesus with my life and enjoy Him" - whatever I am doing, wherever I am.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
A TRIBUTE TO OUR DOG
Sitting here in the quiet - ahh
Fire crackling, Christmas lights on
Sipping tea
Waiting for a blizzard to hit
And missing my Cooper..
Cooper is was my three year old Golden Retriever. My baby. If you know me then you know that I am a sucker for dogs. I love them, especially my own.
Cooper as been my shadow for three years, laying his head on my lap everytime I would sit down. He would lounge on the couch and stretch his neck out to look at me with his big brown eyes when I would be working in the kitchen. And always first thing in the morning he would do a little dance because he knew that he would either get a hotdog or peanut butter sandwich for morning snack. He would always sleep on the floor right by me and when Kevin would get out of bed - he knew it was his cue to jump up. He was so good with the kids. Ally would lay right on him and tease him and kiss him and he just layed there waggin his tail.
Cooper got hit by a car this weekend... Dumb dog. He never went on the road - but this time there was a dead deer that he went to and didnt come back.
A weekend of lots of tears. A weekend that our kids got a taste of loss. A weekend where we could go before a loving Father and know that even tears over a pet are cares - He wants us to cast on Him.
Fire crackling, Christmas lights on
Sipping tea
Waiting for a blizzard to hit
And missing my Cooper..
Cooper is was my three year old Golden Retriever. My baby. If you know me then you know that I am a sucker for dogs. I love them, especially my own.
Cooper as been my shadow for three years, laying his head on my lap everytime I would sit down. He would lounge on the couch and stretch his neck out to look at me with his big brown eyes when I would be working in the kitchen. And always first thing in the morning he would do a little dance because he knew that he would either get a hotdog or peanut butter sandwich for morning snack. He would always sleep on the floor right by me and when Kevin would get out of bed - he knew it was his cue to jump up. He was so good with the kids. Ally would lay right on him and tease him and kiss him and he just layed there waggin his tail.
Cooper got hit by a car this weekend... Dumb dog. He never went on the road - but this time there was a dead deer that he went to and didnt come back.
A weekend of lots of tears. A weekend that our kids got a taste of loss. A weekend where we could go before a loving Father and know that even tears over a pet are cares - He wants us to cast on Him.
We serve a gracious and good God. And I believe that the kids got to expereince our Fathers heart and for that I am so very thankful.
So here's to Cooper the best dog ever.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
FEAR
Fear - its something that I struggle with. Today God spoke into my heart about my fear. He did it in the most loving way.
I have souht out to read the Bible through from cover to cover. I have never done it before, always admire anyone that has.
I am in Deuteronomy, in fact I just finished today. I didnt want to read Det. today. I feel incredibly dry and I had this attitude that God could not possibly talk to me through Deuteronomy and I so badly wanted Him to speak.
I was tempted to go into the NT but I didnt and I picked up God's story where I have left off.
"Be strong and courageous" Be strong and courageous - I will not leave you. Four times I read that today.
I read K blog today talking about a "new name" given to her by God. It made me wonder two things - what does Jesus think of when He thinks of me - do I have a new name waiting for me - and what does my name "Marcy" mean.
I googled it
Marcy means - Brave.
God showed me today that He does make all things glorious - and He and only He can take my fear and turn it into brave - and give me courage to continue to walk in the path He calls me to walk.
I want to be brave.
I have souht out to read the Bible through from cover to cover. I have never done it before, always admire anyone that has.
I am in Deuteronomy, in fact I just finished today. I didnt want to read Det. today. I feel incredibly dry and I had this attitude that God could not possibly talk to me through Deuteronomy and I so badly wanted Him to speak.
I was tempted to go into the NT but I didnt and I picked up God's story where I have left off.
"Be strong and courageous" Be strong and courageous - I will not leave you. Four times I read that today.
I read K blog today talking about a "new name" given to her by God. It made me wonder two things - what does Jesus think of when He thinks of me - do I have a new name waiting for me - and what does my name "Marcy" mean.
I googled it
Marcy means - Brave.
God showed me today that He does make all things glorious - and He and only He can take my fear and turn it into brave - and give me courage to continue to walk in the path He calls me to walk.
I want to be brave.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Reflecting
Today I have been reflecting over the past 6-9 months and it had been so good for me to do.
Sometimes I can get frusterated with unanswered pray - I have been in a place today of asking God "Where are you" This faith walk can be weary and lonely and somethings I have been praying for years and have not seen God move in some situations... but God reminded today of the past and about His faithfulness in the big things and little. And yes He is active and alive in my life, in my families life and He is on the move. He is wrting a story and teaching me so many things along the way.
We are studying about Abraham in church - I love what his life represented - i always have. Rod was giving this picture of toddlers who are just learning to walk and they are always looking to hold their daddy's/mommy's hand and when they have success they giggle with delight and so does daddy/mommy. That is what Abraham did when he left everything when God asked him to walk.
I love that picture. i feel that way so often - like a toddler learning to walk in this journey we call faith. A tiny step of faith for me is a big deal and takes a lot of effort - but I'm finding out that there really is no greater delight than to walk in the courage given to me by the Holy Spirit and seeing my Heavely Father and expereincing His hand - holding me the whole time and working things out in His time.
He just says walk - I've got you - hold onto me dear one - set your eyes on me - only me - come on child. And I fall and stumble, A lot of the time I get frusterated and throw tantrums when I fall - but My Heavenly Father is slow to anger, abounding in compassion and love.
So reflecting on these last few months has been humbling - so much answered prayer in my life, in my family and friends lives.
Here's just a snapshot of God happenings in my small world.
God has faithfully provided work for Kevin - something we used to take for granted but now know that God is our only Provider. And through this season of walking into the unknown with Kevin and his business, it has strengthened our marriage. it has made us see that we are desperate for Jesus. It has been a hard time but incredibly sweet for us a husband and wife.
We were praying "God fill our house or sell it" - God brought Lisa and Neal into our lives. They moved here 1 1/2 years ago from Detroit - i met Lisa on the bleachers at a baseball game. Neal goes to school with Sawyer. Lisa and Neal needed a place to land for a little while and so they moved in with us for 6 months. It was a sweet time. Today Lisa is one of my clsest friends. A sister in Christ. She is one of the bravest, strongest woman i know. She is a single mom raising a godly boy - she pours her life out for Neal. She loves the Lord Jesus so much and He is her everything. Neal is a like a son to our family - He is a great kid - we count it a gift that God has brought them into our family.
On August 3, they found duplex to live in - in Byron - not far away. The same day - my brother and sister-in-law that have lived next door to us for 10 years - sold their house.
Change... we had our home for sale for 1 year and they put their home on the market and God sold it in two months. WE always thought that we would be the ones pulling out first. But although there were may tears - tears of joy and grieving of what we were saying goodbye to - God's grace was poured out. So incredibly happy for them. They needed a place to land for a month and so our basement being empty again.. So God filled our home again for a short sweet time.
And we have had chels with us since May. Chelsea is someone so special to our whole family. A dear friend from church and she was just coming off an internship from the Boiler Room - a prayer house in Grand Rapids. She too, needed a place to land to figure out the next place to go, and to see God reignite His flame in her - to see her transform before our very eyes and see healing take place has been a gift for us to be part of. God displays His splendor in her and is unraveling piece by piece - His plan for her. So thankful for Chels.
Our kids have started school again. Sawyer, Ally and Brayden all went into new building this year. Logan stays put this year. God has been so faithful again. So much answered prayer has been see in each other their lives. Even though this school year has come with its own challenges - we have been able to take it Jesus in prayer and see him work.
But as the kids grow - especially the older one - I am realizing that my prayers matter more now than ever. We are raising them in a cruel world - a world where, looks, smarts, athletics, are what make you "popular". A place where people are only looking out for themselves, and a place where there is so much broken. I quess that is the way it always has been - It is one thing for me to expereince it - but having your child expereince the yuck of this life is hard - but in those times they also expereince their Heavenly Father's heart. GRACE!!!
Oh my heart crys out on behalf of them that God's Spirit would circumise their heart, teach them, and that they would have hearts of flesh - hearts tender toward the Kingdom of Jesus. It has been so humbling to see God answer this prayer - and even though my kids have a long way to go - just like me. God is doing some neat things in their lives.
I've had the joy of being on the front line of seeing God lead my sister's family on the road of adoption. they have two beautiful children from coloumbia and have been praying that God would enlarge their family. He has given them two beautiful columbian sisters who are waiting in columbia to join my sisters family and us (the extended family). Watching the valleys and the mountiantops of their walk of faith has been heartbreaking and miraculous. And it takes them to Caroline and Marta. God is a great story writer.
God has done so much for me - I have to ask myself - what if God didnt answer one more prayer - would His love he has for me through Jesus be enough. I struggled with that yesterday.
I want to be an oak tree - strong and firmly planted in HIM. when the wind blows I dont want to budge - but declare that my God is good and He is worthy of my everything. That Jesus is my all in all.
Sometime I get tired of praying for the things God can do - I know He loves those prayers - but what I found to be life giving to me today was to sit at His feet and just put my thoughts on Him and all of His Glory and His Love.
I love the song by David Crowder: which has minstered to me so much lately.
He is jealous for me
He loves me like a huricane
I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions and ecplised by glory
And I realize just how beatuiful you are, And how great your affections are for me.
He loves us (me) oh how He loves us (me)
We are his portion, And He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, then we are sinking
So heaven meets earth like an unseen kiss
My heart turns violently in my chest
I dont have time to maintain regrets
When I think how He loves us - oh how He loves us
He loves me - oh how He loves me
Sometimes I can get frusterated with unanswered pray - I have been in a place today of asking God "Where are you" This faith walk can be weary and lonely and somethings I have been praying for years and have not seen God move in some situations... but God reminded today of the past and about His faithfulness in the big things and little. And yes He is active and alive in my life, in my families life and He is on the move. He is wrting a story and teaching me so many things along the way.
We are studying about Abraham in church - I love what his life represented - i always have. Rod was giving this picture of toddlers who are just learning to walk and they are always looking to hold their daddy's/mommy's hand and when they have success they giggle with delight and so does daddy/mommy. That is what Abraham did when he left everything when God asked him to walk.
I love that picture. i feel that way so often - like a toddler learning to walk in this journey we call faith. A tiny step of faith for me is a big deal and takes a lot of effort - but I'm finding out that there really is no greater delight than to walk in the courage given to me by the Holy Spirit and seeing my Heavely Father and expereincing His hand - holding me the whole time and working things out in His time.
He just says walk - I've got you - hold onto me dear one - set your eyes on me - only me - come on child. And I fall and stumble, A lot of the time I get frusterated and throw tantrums when I fall - but My Heavenly Father is slow to anger, abounding in compassion and love.
So reflecting on these last few months has been humbling - so much answered prayer in my life, in my family and friends lives.
Here's just a snapshot of God happenings in my small world.
God has faithfully provided work for Kevin - something we used to take for granted but now know that God is our only Provider. And through this season of walking into the unknown with Kevin and his business, it has strengthened our marriage. it has made us see that we are desperate for Jesus. It has been a hard time but incredibly sweet for us a husband and wife.
We were praying "God fill our house or sell it" - God brought Lisa and Neal into our lives. They moved here 1 1/2 years ago from Detroit - i met Lisa on the bleachers at a baseball game. Neal goes to school with Sawyer. Lisa and Neal needed a place to land for a little while and so they moved in with us for 6 months. It was a sweet time. Today Lisa is one of my clsest friends. A sister in Christ. She is one of the bravest, strongest woman i know. She is a single mom raising a godly boy - she pours her life out for Neal. She loves the Lord Jesus so much and He is her everything. Neal is a like a son to our family - He is a great kid - we count it a gift that God has brought them into our family.
On August 3, they found duplex to live in - in Byron - not far away. The same day - my brother and sister-in-law that have lived next door to us for 10 years - sold their house.
Change... we had our home for sale for 1 year and they put their home on the market and God sold it in two months. WE always thought that we would be the ones pulling out first. But although there were may tears - tears of joy and grieving of what we were saying goodbye to - God's grace was poured out. So incredibly happy for them. They needed a place to land for a month and so our basement being empty again.. So God filled our home again for a short sweet time.
And we have had chels with us since May. Chelsea is someone so special to our whole family. A dear friend from church and she was just coming off an internship from the Boiler Room - a prayer house in Grand Rapids. She too, needed a place to land to figure out the next place to go, and to see God reignite His flame in her - to see her transform before our very eyes and see healing take place has been a gift for us to be part of. God displays His splendor in her and is unraveling piece by piece - His plan for her. So thankful for Chels.
Our kids have started school again. Sawyer, Ally and Brayden all went into new building this year. Logan stays put this year. God has been so faithful again. So much answered prayer has been see in each other their lives. Even though this school year has come with its own challenges - we have been able to take it Jesus in prayer and see him work.
But as the kids grow - especially the older one - I am realizing that my prayers matter more now than ever. We are raising them in a cruel world - a world where, looks, smarts, athletics, are what make you "popular". A place where people are only looking out for themselves, and a place where there is so much broken. I quess that is the way it always has been - It is one thing for me to expereince it - but having your child expereince the yuck of this life is hard - but in those times they also expereince their Heavenly Father's heart. GRACE!!!
Oh my heart crys out on behalf of them that God's Spirit would circumise their heart, teach them, and that they would have hearts of flesh - hearts tender toward the Kingdom of Jesus. It has been so humbling to see God answer this prayer - and even though my kids have a long way to go - just like me. God is doing some neat things in their lives.
I've had the joy of being on the front line of seeing God lead my sister's family on the road of adoption. they have two beautiful children from coloumbia and have been praying that God would enlarge their family. He has given them two beautiful columbian sisters who are waiting in columbia to join my sisters family and us (the extended family). Watching the valleys and the mountiantops of their walk of faith has been heartbreaking and miraculous. And it takes them to Caroline and Marta. God is a great story writer.
God has done so much for me - I have to ask myself - what if God didnt answer one more prayer - would His love he has for me through Jesus be enough. I struggled with that yesterday.
I want to be an oak tree - strong and firmly planted in HIM. when the wind blows I dont want to budge - but declare that my God is good and He is worthy of my everything. That Jesus is my all in all.
Sometime I get tired of praying for the things God can do - I know He loves those prayers - but what I found to be life giving to me today was to sit at His feet and just put my thoughts on Him and all of His Glory and His Love.
I love the song by David Crowder: which has minstered to me so much lately.
He is jealous for me
He loves me like a huricane
I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions and ecplised by glory
And I realize just how beatuiful you are, And how great your affections are for me.
He loves us (me) oh how He loves us (me)
We are his portion, And He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, then we are sinking
So heaven meets earth like an unseen kiss
My heart turns violently in my chest
I dont have time to maintain regrets
When I think how He loves us - oh how He loves us
He loves me - oh how He loves me
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