Kids say the darnest things...

over this weekend we watch Elf. to me Christmas isnt Christmas without watching Elf. i know a little weird... It is a hilarious movie (at least I think so, Kevin on the other hand well lets just say no so much...)

anyways... all weekend long the kids and i were saying lines and singing songs off Elf. (especially Logan) any one that knows logan knows that he loves a good time and getting him hooked on something is easy to do. His favorite song on Elf is when Elf meets his dad for the first time and sings him a song. - the song is hilarious -

Sunday night we were saying our prayers and Logan was praying and at the end he sings to Jesus ... I love you I love you I love you Elf style.

I dont know - i got to believe that Jesus got a kick out of that - i am still laughing about it - Kevin on the other hand... you that know kevin-his reaction made the whole thing even funnier. Life is funny isnt it... i got to learn not to take it or myself to seriously... enjoy the laughter a little more...

Jesus... he loves to celebrate - he's getting ready for a celebration of all celebrations... this Christmas season lets let all the life struggles and problems go - lay them down - and lets celebrate the King of Kings, Emmanual, God is with us -lets do a little dancing, a little laughing, a little singing (elf style?! maybe not)

Remembering....

Yesterday we had "simple church" just the six of us as a family. it was a time of testifing to God's greatnss in each of our lives over the past year.

We have a jar that we put stones in to remind us of God's faithfulness.

It was a sweet time and a time of renewing my own faith. Looking back just over this last year and hearing each one of the kids give testimony of Jesus Christ in their own lives and Kevin and I sharing was a time of renewing our hope. I want to give testimony of just a few things our family is so very thankful for, prayers that have been answered and evidence of God's finger on our lives.

Ally -
thankful for making new friends in school,
thankful for her teachers,
thankful that she seen God in real ways is Africa - experiencing that you don't need things to find true joy and that Jesus is more than enough - she learned this through Portia(Zimbabwean)
so thankful for chelsea, michelle, cheraya and missy for loving her and showing her what is means to live whole heartily for Jesus) (you four girls have no idea what you did for ally this summer - thank you from the bottom of my heart - i love you all too)

Brayden -
thankful for improving in writing and reading
thankful for being in south africa - learned so much about Jesus - learned alot from Tim and sbu - both lived in masi - live a life of sacrifice for jesus and are both full of joy and love. also learned a lot from beckie - a little boy in masi (10 yrs old) that always had a smile on his face and was out going even though he didnt have much.
thankful for danmike, brad and jeremiah - thanks guys

Logan -
thankful that grandpa van is cancer free
thankful for being in mrs fergusons classroom
thankful that he is getting better at reading
thankful that God keeps him safe when we walk in his ways

sawyer -
thankful for the time in south africa -
thankful for simeon (white southafrican) and tim. learned a lot from both about being a believer of Jesus. thankful for the time each one gave him.
thankful for danmike, brad and jeermiah - thankful for the time and love they give him - and also for being example to him about what it looks like to live your life total committed to God's way and the joy and peace you have living that way.
thankful for healing his broken foot - God did a miracle on sawyers foot this past month - sawyer broke it playing basketball and was told that he would be out 4 - probably 6 weeks - but God thought 1 1/2 weeks would do. and so sawyer not thinking that he would play any b-ball this season only sat out 3 games. pretty unbelievable.

kevin-
God has provided work for him - even after the company that gave him 90% of the work over the last 5 years went bankrupt. God has brought along other great contractors to work for and we are not only grateful but humbled by the provision and heart of God.

Thankful for the opportunity to go to South Africa - there were many miracles that happen just to get us there

thankful for nelis,cedric and elias - mighty men that have been a picture of what Kevin wants his life to look like. men in love with their saviour and committed their lives and families to the work of the Kingdom - a life of total trust and surrender - despite circumstances - they proclaim with their lives God is good and worthy.
thankful that God is changing him - his heart - teaching him more about his ways

thankful for having peace in a very chaotic world - despite what things appear to be knowing that God always has our best.

thankful that he is seeing our kids growing in the ways of the LORD.

thankful for friends here - that continue to encourage and challenge him to live his life full of faith.

marcy (me)

thankful that God doesnt give up on me
thankful that God has shown more of his heart to me
thankful for the cross (the sacrifice of Christ and the love displayed there...there are no words...i want all the days of my life to grasp how deep,long,wide his love is for me..
thankful for the opportunity to spend time in SA - found home there -
thankful for inesa and christina, vovo and sylvia - women that i want to be like - women who love Jesus and his ways and love their families. living a full life and a life of faith
thankful for my family - kevin, sawyer, ally, brayden,logan - love my man more and more each year, and i feel so blessed that i am these fab four's mom - life is so full of love and laughter with each of you. i learn so much from you.

my parents - who have from day one been my example of God's love and grace - seeing them grow more in love with Jesus and with each other every year is footsteps that i want to follow in. my sisters kristi,kim,libby and brothers,curt,rod,john, nieces and nephews. so proud of each one of you.. we are all uniquely made and have all been called to different things pertaining to the Kingdom of God - but we are always there to encourage and cheer each other on. i love you all so much

my friends new and old - ive learned so much from each of you, so thankful to journey together with you. God uses you continually to show himself to me.

This list is just a few things that were highlighted yesterday. It is so good to look back, give thanks and it gives me - encouragement to walk forward knowing and believing whatever is ahead in this next year that God is faithful -

He has his eye roaming throughout the earth looking for those fully devoted to him and his ways

I dont know what God has planned for me, my family in this next year - but we want to be where He is at. over the last two years kevin and i have been feeling frustrated/discontent and we are praying into this " is this holy discontent or holy frustration? or just plain discontentment - and if it is that then forgive us Jesus but if this is from you then show us.

Our family, we are praying for specific direction - that God would be clear in his calling over us. please join us in that prayer.

As we celebrate the birth of our saviour JESUS CHRIST this season and really every day - we bless God, and say as David said

Who am i , O Sovereign LORD and what is my family, that you have brought me this far...

REAL HOPE

I did it again today - i confess that more than not lately - i can get caught into the cynical and the depressing talk which is going all over the place these days. the gloom and doom or the economy, the getting caught up in watching the stock market crash and then rebound. the words of debt, bailout, bankruptcy, no work, foreclosure, rates, governement, and on and on.

i dont mean to be insensitive, because this is real life for many, many people, it is real life to us, but... i so badly want to be like david - when he came back from battle - and all of his possesions, even his wives and children were taken and all the other warriors turned against David " but David found his strength in the LORD his God" 1sam30:6b

this is the time the church - Christ bride must arise and be a shining light. it is a ripe time. God's Word - the more I read it the more amazed I am - it is "alive and active" God does speak through these very pages. sometimes the message is convicting to a point where I need to search my heart and sometime it is encouraging but throughout the pages there is a consisent message - the message of Love and Redemption.

this picture is of a man who is near and dear to our hearts. his name is elais - kevin met him in south africa in the mall - him and logan drove me to mall to do some emailing and they bought a corndog from the stand that elias worked at. we know that it was a God ordained meeting - conversation began - and this man - represented Jesus to kevin and me in the purest way. kevin spent a lot of time with elias and the more he got to know him the more he loved him, and the more he learned about the purest part of the kingdom of God. - you see Elias is a modern day David.

His circumstances through our earthly view is horrible. he lives in a foreign land (his land Zimbabwea is war torn) he lives in a shack not even fit for animals, he was at this time - seperated from his wife and little boy (for 1 1/2 years) and he works harder than anyone and hardly makes enough to buy food and rent for himself.

And yet....Elias finds strength in the LORD his God. I remember kevin coming home from meeting with elias... so humbled to have spent time with this amazing man and learning sooo much from him about Jesus.

Elias - yes if anyone could get down and angry and full of panick he could and no one would blame him - but through the faithfulness of God to his promises:

"the LORD is near to all who call on him...in truth He fulfills the desires of those that fear him, he hears there cry and saves them." ps 145:18

you see - elias is part of the kingdom of God - the kingdom has broken in his life and now it is breaking forth. God has put elias in a very dark place to be a light - and boy does he shine so very bright.


ps. to this story - God did reunited elias with his wife and son after 1 1/2 year of crying out to God. they arrived in masi last week. To God be the Glory. and thank you elias, your life has challenged us, touched us and changed us and we are so thankful for you and your beautiful family.

now the question is do i looking different to the world - am i speaking love and truth - and i bringing peace to a very chaotic place - am i - when it comes right down to it - living for my LORD - do i really trust my Fathers heart - am i finding my strength in the LORD my God - and am i offering His hope - the Hope that I have to the world around me.

despite circumstances, despite the thinking of the world. God's kingdom is really right side up in this upside down world.

i want to be a place of joy, peace, love, gentleness, kindness,goodness and self control. i want to represent jesus in the purest form. the only way is less of me jesus and more of you.

so tommorrow is a new day again - i think i just posted that last time - but it is truth that i need to cling to everyday - God's mercies are new every day - now that is the example of all examples of a Father's Heart. - thank you Father, for calling me child, and for lavishing me with your love and grace, thank you for running toward me everytime i wander wayward and you bring me back to you with your arms open wide, thank you for loving me enough to speak truth into me and wanting to shape me more into your image - help me be moldable and teachable.

thank you for our south african family, everyone one of them, elias and his family, nelis and inesa, cedric, and sylvia, vovo, christina, godknows and tim we continue to learn so much from them - bless them and keep them and make your face shine upon them and give them peace - in jesus most powerful and loving name - AMEN

i want to do this well - i want God to be gloirified in my life - i know that without him - i am no different than the world - BUT with him - He is our only HOPE and He is our Rock and our Salvation there is nothing to fear. God grant me Kingdom eyes and not earthly eyes.

Dreams...

It has been a long time since i wrote in this space. I have tried a couple times to post an entry but got distracted. Distraction has been a huge issue that i have been dealing with lately and i dont like it.

Today is the first snow fall - and it is cold. Im sitting in my living room with my two dogs enjoying the quiet and the warmth of the fire.

So much has been going on - in our heart (kevin and I). It feels like everything is changing around us and in us and it is exciting but for me very scary.

I am learning about myself that when I am introduced to something new from God i am like a deer in the head lights - I stand and shut down. That is why i need to proclaim Hab3:19. I am a creature of comfort and sameness.

I thought that when I came back from Africa - because getting me there was a journey in and of itself - i could settle back into life as usually - in fact i told a friend of mine - i cant wait till i dont have anything huge lingering over me - i want to live a "normal" life again. Be normal - be a "football mom" be active in my church and school and just get back to "normal".

So that is where I have been living in the past couple of months. And not even to say that it is a bad place - but what I have done is I havent been quiet before God - I havent expressed the desires of my heart, and God has opened my heart and eyes to things, that are now very much part of who i am and so really what is "normal" now. I have stone walled the dreams He has put there because to be frank - im tired and some of these dreams are way out there. so this is what i do - i dont want to go back to who i was - but im scared to make a move ahead because i dont know what that is - so i just sit. And I miss Jesus.

Kevin called me this morning from work and said - you got to listen to the song on the radio "Im coming home". And he reminded me in his sweet voice that todays a new day.

This post may sound like i am depressed - i dont feel depressed nor do i think i am but i also believe that that the devil will use depression, dissension and doubt and distraction to play games with Christ followers. I am dealing with the disatraction and doubt and i need to be at the feet of Jesus to have him replace my doubt with faith and i nned to "be still and know" Jesus quiet my mind - i pray for the mind of Christ. help me to take every thought captive and help me kmake them line up with Christ.

Yesterday at church we read the story of mary when she broke her alabaster jar of perfume on Jesus. And how throughout the gospel story - it was mary who was at Jesus feet. Mary knew - really knew Jesus. SHe knew him as her Christ - her saviour - she knew what it was going to cost Jesus his own life when he raised Lazurus, her brother from the dead - she got it. and she didnt care what anyone thought of her - she was willing to be a fool for Jesus and give everything she had and laid it at his feet. She understood that she needed a Saviour and what love her saviour had for her. She didnt give him 99% of her life she gave everything.

Oh i want to be like her. i felt God whispering over me yesterday - marcy get rid of the "but" "God you can have everything BUT this".

And so as the song says "im coming home" im laying it all at Jesus feet. Search me and know me dear jesus. Help me to dream big dreams - help my family to dream big dreams to partner up with the Living Christ and go and be whatever you may. Help me once again to wal by faith and not by sight. God i need your courage. Thank you for using Steph yesterday to speak truth into me. thank you for pursuing me again and bringing me back home.

Help me to dream dreams that may happen soon or that may happen later but in the process learn to live in the here and now and live each moment despereate for you and seeking opportunity to be your messanger. Forgive my lack of faith and disobediant heart. God you, through your awesome grace, began a good work in me - please let me walk in obediance so that your work can be complete. THe things that you have taught me over the last few months LORD - seal it in me - i dont want that work to fade and I dont want it to be taken from me. I want to continue to grow in your WORD and your TRUTH.

God's mercies are new each day - and so today i will walk in his mercy and in his strength.

Blessed is those who mourn for they will be comforted

Today a sweet boy who is in sawyer's 8th grade class went home to be with jesus. Jose - a quiet yet fun boy - to know jose was to love jose.

last night as we were talking with sawyer, he told us that the last few weeks that jose was in school this year - he was struggling with so much pain - but he wanted to be in school. sawyer gave us a wonderful picture of: each morning when jose would come into school - because he couldnt walk up stairs that well anymore - mr vander pol would wait for him by the door and scoop him up in his arms and carry him up the stairs. -

thank you mr vanderpol for showing jose love and security but also giving a clear picture of jesus to our kids and his character -scooping us up when we cant. showing love and being the safest place to run.

you see - jose has been in and out of hospitals since 2nd grade dealing with words called cancer,tumor, remission, inoperatable, chemotherapy, hospital, sickness, pain, tiredness. something nobody should have to deal with especially a young boy.

just another wake up call that we are not living in "eden" - that we arent made for this world - that the evil, sin and disease still are very promient here and that the reality that Jesus today is preparing a mansion for those that follow after him. jose is getting a tour of his mansion - and there is no hospital beds, or needles, no doctors - because he is dancing with his Healer today and he really is home.

my mom said some true words " Heavens gain our loss". very true very true.

dont you ever just get mad though - i get mad that a boy has to deal with cancer, i get mad that my sister vovo, in africa, is in stage 4 of aids, i get made at the millions of people going to bed hungry, i get mad at hearing and saying "we're so busy" we're so busy" busy with what!!!, i get mad that families are falling apart, i get mad that the devil is having hayday dividing communities over stupid things, i get mad that we live in culture where everything is performance base and outward appearanced based. i get mad at the pride, my own pride and the pride of this world.

ill start with me - i am desperate for Jesus to pour out himself into my every part of me - my thoughts, my heart, my actions, my mouth - because without him i get so off track - i start to believe the lies, i start to use my tongue to tear people apart, i start to give my heart to the things of this world and i cave into fear. with the holy spirit invading my being - i have his peace, i have his love and i have a confidence that i am a daugther of the King - the Creator of all things.

This world really has nothing for me - nothing - in fact i am getting more and more grossed out by what it trys to offer - a short lived high with a quaruenteed crash at the end.

jesus - be my peace - let me be your peace. without you my life is chaos - turn this sadness into dancing - and may people in this community fix their eyes on you, and may we start being a power force for your Kingdom instead of a divide.

thank you for jose - in his quiet tender spirit he represented you in a real way - may the memory of jose point many to you. may you populate heaven through the life that Jose lived and may he have the front row seat to seeing many coming to know you through his short but very courageous life. i know he is in the great cloud of witness cheering on his classmates - cheering them on toward things of the kingdom -

Your way - blessed are those that mourn for they will be comforted. Jesus, be with the Petroleas give them your comfort and strength. no parent should have to bury their child, that is not your way - thank you for taking on our sorrow, thank you for entering into this dark world and radianting your light, thank you for our hope in jesus, that this is not goodbye to jose - but well see you soon. and help us to love well the people that you put in our lives each day, lets not waste single opportunity to share your love to people - and may your grace be abounding. i love you jesus -

The Fear of the LORD

Saturday our family met with some dear friends - friends that God has placed in our life to journey together. The time spent together was rich, we feasted, celebrated, and sought after God together. we share our joys and disappointments. we want to be a people that are real about our brokenness, our fears and our weakness. we want to be a people that can encourage one another and spur each other on. And we want to stand together in faith and pray big prayers for our kids.

This gave Kevin and I a great time of meditation and talking about really what is our mission with our kids - what is it. and we come back to Det 6 - Love God with all your heart, mind and strength and love others as yourself. What does this mean - what does this look like and who are they going to learn this from. - That would be us - I talk a lot and think a lot about simple church - could it be that it starts with our four treasured kids. That if we could model this and expereince God together as a family, then we could be used for the world.

My prayer is God show us - where do we begin with this simple mission yet the most challenging. In this world we are bombarded - with the lie of the evil one. Jesus calls the devil "prince of this world" and lately it seems like he has been winning lots of battle especially where our youth is concerned. He is on the prowl - coming back here after Africa - i was almost paralized by the shear dispair we live amongst. Negative additudes, fear, the news of gloom and doom, the election, the bailout, forclosure, putting so much value on things that have no worth for the Kingdom of God - yes we are in hard times - but you know i found myself going down the path of gloom and doom - but Scipture says".

"The LORD is excalted for he dwells on high, he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness, He will be a sure foundation for your times, a rich storage of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge. The fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure." Isaiah 33:5&6.

He will be a sure foundation for your times - a rich storage of salvation, wisdom and knowledge. the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure. - WOW

Starting with me Jesus - help me to fear you more than man. Help me to see you for who you really are. - You make the blind see - help me see.

We have the joy of the LORD - we are more that conqueors - our kids can be victourious in Jesus and so can we and do great things for His Kingdom. Our prayers as parents are these things.

God - may our kids above all fear you and know who you are - to really know your heart - that truly you are for us and not against us - that you lavish your love on us by calling us your children. And that your grace and love is huge - extrodinary.

That they would walk victourious in Jesus - and know your voice. over and over in your word you say that you lead in guide - they would be like Samuel - and at a very young age they would know your voice and follow you all the days of their life.

That they would love your Living Word. They would know that your Word is alive and active, and that it is Truth. that through your Word you would circumise their heart by your spirit and teach them your ways.

That they would be humble - that they would look at the interst of others over themselves and you would give them your heart that their heart would break over the things that break yours.

To have courage to stand tall for you. To become like David and Ester. To be warriors and warrioress for you.

And that would live a pure life and rest in the fact that you have their husband.wife already picked out for them and they would not fall to the sexual temptations of this world. And that right now you are raising their future mates to love you with all their hearts.

And to know that God has a purpose and plan for each one of them and that they are uniquely created in Gods image and in all that they do - do it for the glory of Jesus.

And to have a heart for the nations. To see the Kingdom of Jesus globally and have a love and ambition to go - into all nations proclaiming Christ.

And that when they do fail, that the first place they would run is to the throne of grace - to repent and hear Jesus say - through my sacrifice on the cross, through my blood, you are forgiven, i love you dear one - now go and live in my love and live out my love to others

Okay huge list - but it does sum up into Love God and Love others right.

I think the problem of this nation, families, indivuals is we have forgotten - Who are we, Why are we here. Maybe we should start asking ourselves this and our kids everyday and be reminded daily that:

We are God's children, His holy and dearly loved and chosen people, his ambassoders, his temple, his bride.

We are here to celebrate Jesus, to bring good news to a dark world, to take delight in rich community that centers on Jesus, really to bring heaven to earth, to bring peace into chaos.



God, you speak over my heart - become what you want your children to become. Jesus - i need so much grace and your love, wisdom, power and courage. Hide me behind the cross Jesus, and may our kids see only you.

It was said last night at an outreach meeting and it is words that I have pondered on " You see - God is God - He doesnt need us - and he uses us in spite of us - why? to bring joy to our lives. It is for us. It is for us. Isnt is true - when we expereince and share Jesus - joy always shows up - that's God heart to give us joy. Not always happiness -but joy

" I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete - ... Love others as I have loved you" - Jesus

Living Water

"If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver,costly stone, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of eeach man's work. If what he has survives, he will receive his reward, If it burns up, he will suffer loss, he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the fire." ICorinthians3:12-15

Bought a new devotional called Living Water by Brother Yun. I usually dont buy many devoitionals but a few years back i read The Heavenly Man - it was Brother Yun's story. He is a modern day Paul - and has an active part in the revial of the church in China. His story touched me deep and after reading it - it made me want what he had/has with Jesus.

This particular devitional is one i read last week but God is convicting me to go back and read and confess that since i have been back from Africa - I have been operating on my flesh and not His Spirit. I am in a dry season. I dont know why - maybe its because of the crazyness of life, or maybe because I was just in aplace where desperation was the normal and there was no where else to go, or maybe it is just me and my weakness and lazyness, and pride.

Maybe God looks the greatest when we can glorify him in the everyday mundane things of life. Maybe Faith is the greatest when the emotion or feeling isnt neccesarily there and you continue to open up Gods Word, and you continue to go face down in prayer.

I feel like the Israelites, who just witness God in massive ways and not so long turned to their own grumbling ways.

God forgive me, help me quiet myself before your throne of grace and pour out your Living Water in every part of my being.

You see walking in the Spirit really does bring joy, peace, love kindness, self control, gentleness and faithfulness.

How many things have I done in my own flesh. According to ICorn 3:12-15 they mean nothing to Christ, they will burn. The only things that will last are the things done not on my own strength but on the super natural power of the Holy Spirit working in me and through me.

"Be holy - just as I am holy", says Jesus - do you ever ask God - what were thinking when you picked me. I feel like God has spoken over me - dont waste too much time on that question marcy - my ways are huge and pride can be just as much thinking to much of yourself as when you think to little of yourself. because none of this is about you anyway - you can sit in your self pity or you can continue to pour yourself out and let me pour myself in and be part of the most awesome story ever told.

Yes I think that God looks great small things - when I love Kevin and the kids well, I know and they know when i am living in my flesh - it isnt pretty. To love and see every person that I come in contact each day through the eyes and heart of Jesus. To act on the promptings of the Holy Sprirt and to not take my self to seriously. Total surrender every moment of every day desperate for the filling of the Spirit.

A friend gave me these words that I keep going back to, also, May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity as you follow the Lord Jesus. Romans 15:5. God gives endurance and He gives encouragement - He leaves us lacking nothing - we just need to humble ourselves and ask.

God thank you for being slow to anger and full of compassion - At the end of the day I want to make You proud. and hear the words "Well done my dear one" May you be glorified in this broken vessel. I love you Jesus - Your daughter

Re Entry

Its been a week since we were in Masi. I miss it so, just got an email from Godknows - celebrating that we have a new sister in Christ - the mom who God gave a new shack to. She just received Jesus. we prayed and prayed that she would not remember us but that Jesus would be glorified and seen. another answered pray -


Our last meeting with the team in Africa we talked about re-entry. I listen but seriously thought that re-entry would be no big deal for me. I would slide back into life here and not miss a beat. I think that I was the most excited to get back into the football practices, and school and the rythem of our life as we are used to.

WOW - to be honest - i am struggling. we went to our high school football game the day we got back - Had the warmest welcome from our great community and family- we are so blessed!! Everyone asking "How was the trip?" I found/find myself fruserated with not being able to put into words what we expereinced and witness and what God is doing in our hearts.

The whole trip was about God's greatness - God working in and through us - broken people - that really have no clue on what to do. Each morning trying to gear up to enter into Masi - crying out to God to lead us by His spirit. To give us the mind, heart, hand and feet of Christ.

I want to scream "the God we serve, the Jesus we live for - He is for real!! we know that because everywhere we look He is there - in the despair - He is there - in the poverty and disease - He is there. I blogged before about God's glory being radiant everywhere. It is true.

It is not about going to church, we are the church, or the programs offered, or who has the best youth group or worship music, who has the best preacher. It is about getting alone with Jesus crying out to him getting in His Word, getting in a small community of other believers who are desperate for the Holy Spirit to invade every part of their being and going into the world with God's power, love and joy.

We are processing and praying through what God wants to continue to teach us. In Africa the darkness is evident - when the presence of Jesus comes in - his light is almost blinding, so radiant!! - here in the western world we live in darkness also, we just dont realize it as much because we have so many false "lights" Jesus can become just another light - but He is THE Light. - Jesus please let the scales fall from my eyes - let me see you and your ways. Let me be just as desperate for you here as I was in Africa, let me see my own weakness and let me not be swayed by the patterns of this world. Let me continue to walk in faith and not sight.

Two different worlds - Africa and America. God is the God of all nations. We can learn from each other. This life is a fight - In Africa it is a fight for life survial, here it is a fight to not fall into the patterns of the world.

I know that God is faithful to all that seek after Him. that is all He wants - For us to surrender to Him and His Ways - not because He is a mean God - but because His Ways are always for our best. He loves us more than our puny minds can imagine.

God I want to be more desperate for you - show me my desperate state. Help me not to be blinded to you by the false floursent lights and all the noise but let me set my eyes and on THE LIGHT - Fix my eyes on you, Jesus - you are my author and perfector of Faith.

HIGH and THE LOWS

of this expereince and God being in all of it. Cant believe that today is our last day in Masi. time flew by. The guys put the shack up for the single mom. Brad, michelle and Jeremiah were the heros - they tore the old shack down and the stench, cockroaches, black mold, and other creepy things were all in the rotten wood. It was so eye opening to see the reality of what people live in. Kevin, danmike, and our boys brought the new shack down to Masi in pieces. They had lots of help putting it together, watching the new house go up was so great. A new home for this single mom. May Jesus be glorified!!

WE met with Christina and Vovo on Friday. Vovo lives in the Wetlands, and we would go to simple church at her house twice a week. We never got real one on one time - our time with her was studying Gods word. Last Friday we met - just us girls, chelsea, julie, me, christina and vovo - and we got to know each other. vovo shared her story - she was married and her husband cheated on her and then came back HIV positive - giving it to her. So vovo is HIV positive now. she is no longer with her husband and she is caring for her four year old little boy. she is a wonderful mom - her reality is she lives in a tiny shack (8x8) she has no job to support herself and her son, and she is HIV positive. the tears ran hard on friday between all of us girls. what can we say - nothing - we sat with her, cryed with her, hugged her, and called out to Jesus on her behalf.

Vovo is a strong woman in the LORD - she told us that this life is a fight - and she knows it better than any of us. But since she has come to know Jesus (this past April) she is fighting for the Kingdom of God to continue to grow among the woman in Masi. When the guys were building the new shack for this mom - it was vovo out there helping and being an encourager to her. Vovo was so happy for her - and vovo like so many others could use a new shack also. You see i love what Missy Weisman just blogged - it is so true - sometimes we can be the hands and feet of Jesus to the poor and the oppressed - but they are always the face of Jesus to us.

I gained two new sisters in Christ over the last couple of weeks. Christina and Vovo. I have learned so much about Jesus. How can we spend only two short weeks together and have a heart full of love. It is only Jesus. You see - these are two woman that I would want to be like. They know real Joy and they know real Hope. I have a long way to go on both. Yes Vovo - this life is a fight - and you are doing it where it is so hard. YOu shine so bright.

Walking into Masi on the first day - i was naive and probably a little prideful - coming in to save the day - walking out of Masi on the last day - very humbled to have walked alongside these amazing people. I cant pretend to know what life is like for them, not even a little. I could walk down from my beautiful team house into MAsi, stay for a few hours and leave. I type with tears streaming down my face. I have learned so much from them.

So much to process and pray through. I know that God is breaking our hearts over what breaks His. And i want him to continue to work on my heart. our hearts desire is grow in the knowledge and love and power of our SAviour Jesus and continue to see more and more what the kingdom of God is suppose to look like in our lives.

There is so much more to share and I will use this space to process and tell more stories and testify to the goodness of God. This has been a life changing experience. Words cant describe all that we saw, felt,and witnessed. Surely the LORD had His hand on this trip. TRuly amazing to walk with HIm.

SNAPSHOT

into the lives of the people that God has put into the lives of our team.

Porsha - single mom from Zimbabwae - new believer - celebrated her sons 1st birthday yesterday, praying for the lump on her breast which is now shinking (keep praying) she her give her life to the LORD and seeing God building her up into a strong leader for the women in Masi. Helped her started a knitting business and she her pour herself into this and seeing her reap the benefits of her hard work. Also watching her be a blessing and offering hope and help to the women in her community. Only Jesus.

Stella - a young girl from Zimbabwae - just had a baby two weeks ago - so scared and no place to live b eing a new mom is scary in and of itself but under her conditions of literally being in a foreign land and homeless with no one. She left her newborn son in a field and God miracously rescued this baby and has since reunited Tommy with his mom Stella. Watching Porsha give what little she has to Stella, and seeing All Nations come around Stella and teach her the basics about being a mother (to burp your baby) when to feed - Pray that through all this she meet Jesus. Her real hope.

Tasaborse - The young mom who has aids and lives in a mud hole practically with her two small children. God is using us/you to give her a whole new shack (thank you friends and family)

Elios - Zim man who Kevin has been meeting with - he is seperated from his wife and two kids - they re still in Zimbabwae. not $ to get them here. his heart aches to be reunited with them. He loves the LORD though and finds His hope and strength in him. He has been a blessing to get to know.

Godknows - 17yr old orphan who is looking for a way out of Masi - Has been hanging with our group and we are praying that he would find work and that God would continue to build him up into a leader of Africa.

Henry - A man that Jeremaih and Brad are meeting with - he is from Zimbabwae also, he is a believer - he is seperated from his family also and he just got word a couple of weeeks ago that his two year son died in Zim. He longs to go back but cant.


Pacoma - an abused teenage girl who left her home and is living with another family. Looking for love and guidance.

There are many more people that we have met. and they all have a story along these lines.

I was feeling a bit overwhelmed yesterday with all of it and then we came together as a group and sang and laughed. The kids are a greace to us because they love to have fun and they help us not take ourselves to serious. God didnt ask us to save the world - Jesus did that - we just need to be faithful to bring the joy and love of Jesus to the lost and then lay it at the cross. Such a rich time. Makes me so grateful for home and what God has belssed our family with. Family and friend who love us and who are journeying with us, our home and our community, our schools - education is such a gift, jobs - health - but the most important is JESUS - just give me JESUS. We are experinceing His love, grace, strength and miracoulous powers each day. It is a rich time - hard at times yes - but so rich. We love you - Marcy

POVERTY

What do we do with it? It has been something we have been trying to wrap our minds around. The more you get involved the more complex it becomes. It can be so overwhelming that it is easy to say - forget it. But Jesus didnt say forget it. In fact over in the Bible God speaks about being the father to the widow and the orphan, and HE is the Defender of the weak andthe oppressed.

I meet with Christina - she is a new believer - a single mom and hungray to study God's Word. She is reading James so as a family we are reading it. The words that pop off the page " Pure and faultless that is pleasing to God is looking after the widow and the orphan and not being corupt by the world". Go down to chapter 2 and he says the "poor in the eyes of the world are rich in faith and His kingdom belongs to them." we are so seeing this truth. I usedto think that these verses were for the sake of the widow and the orphan but I think it is Gods grace to us - becxause spending time and sharing our lives with the poor we are finding is Gods grace to us. It is seeing God's Kingdom on earth in its purest form.

WE went whale watching the other day - that was a grand day - The weather was perfect and God made the whales dance for us. It was soo incredible - but driving there we passed another township (i dont know the name, I will find out) where 1.1 million people live - just for perspective Masi has 30,000 people. SA is truly a unique place where 1st world and 3rd world are right across the street.

What I am also learing is that we just need to be faithful to what God is calling us to do each day. " Who despises the day of small things" If we each do our small part somehow God works through it and wilkl make all things beautiful. Gods gloryu is everywhere in the mountians, in the ocean, in the sunsets, in the whales, in the faces of our african friends. in the laughter of the children. Just taking time to see this has been huge to me.

Today we will start gathering materials and building a new shack for a single Zim mother who has two small children and she has AIDS. she live in an 8x8 shack with no floor and no roof. when it rains she has puddles and it is always damp. Praying that she shes the love of Jesus in this act of love. This is what you are all a part of. Meeting the needs of the distress widow and orphan. So humbling to be part of God's family, you are all part of this mission, praying for Gods blessing on each of you. Gotta go - Marcy

SIMPLE CHURCH

Today is Sunday, we are taking in all the beauty if this day. The weather here has been to good to be true. Everyday b/t 60-70 degrees and sunny - partly cloudy. The beauty is breath taking. Ouyr group is going to Cape Point today - it is one of the most Southern points in Africa. It is where the Indian Ocean and the Alantic Ocean meet. God's greatness is reaveal alot through the waters. The water is uncontrolable, powerful and beautiful. We will be worshiping on the beach tonight - Godknows wants to tell us about what God is teaching him - what powerful testimony to God when Godknows says over and over God is good. He tells everyone God is good. Godknows has nothing. Yet he pocesses so much - The knowledge of the love of Jesus Christ. Godknows has never been to Cape point so we count it an honor that he would go with us today. I was reading in Proverbs today 22:2 the rich and the poor have this in common - The Lord God is the Maker of us all. Such profound truth. TRying to figure out what to do with all we are seeing and seeking God on His direction. This is hard stuff to process. IT seems like there is always tension with being thankful for what God has blessed us with and not feeling guilty. I think that God like us living in that tension it makes us constantly seek after His will and His way for us. He has a specific calling on everyone. And it is up to each of us to listen to the call He has on our lives. I do know that God's heart is for the poor and the oppressed. We are seeing Jesus through the eyes of the children.

I apologize for no pictures my laptop doesnt work, so i buy minutes at a Cafe. So bear with my typing I feel like I am always typing against the clock. Praying your Sunday is blessed with rest and time with Jesus. WE love you all - keep praying. Thanks mom and dad and Curt Kim taylor sam and david for taking care of my dogs. I know it seems silly - but it really does mean a lot. There my boys. Again we love you.

Knitting

Today we went to the wetlands to play soccer with the kids. Brayden was all smiles - there were so many kids and we had a great soccer match in the field. The little kids are so hungray for attention and love, and touch. they are beautiful kids. Godknows has been with almost all the time. He is a Mighty Man of God - He spoke about Jesus to the kids in the language. We will go back on tuesday to play again.

In the morning I had my quiet time and our house is up the mountian, and from the deck we can see the township of Masi. I was reading about the prodical son and how the Father ran to his son. The tears came then as I know that is my story - that God ran to me and how he desperatly wants the people of Masi to run to Him. He has his arms wide open. My heart breaks for them. The needs are huge - everywhere you look there are desperate people in desperate situation. And the people that let the Word of God enter and they believe in Jesus it is so powerful to me to see what Jesus means to them. He is there only hope. Even the name Jesus - saying it brings so much power. WE are praying for Porsha, she found a lump on her breast and the doctors are telling her that it is cancer. This is nursing her 10 month old son and the doctors told her to stop. Nursing is his main food. So it has been so difficult, we are praying and believing that the lump would be gone. Please stand in that prayer also. She is alone and she is scared.

It is awesome to see everyone in the group using their different giftings. Sheraya just happen to bring her knitting to use during her down time - but God had different plans - she is teaching Porsha how to knit slippers, so then Porsha can start a small business and make a little $ to support herself. Shereaya has spent hours already knitting and talking with Porsha. It is beautiful. Everyone is doing so well and we are seeking hard after God each day together. We are truly nothing without Him. The harvest is ripe.

A typical night for us is, a dinner is made by Syvia, so deilcious, after a long day in Masi to come home to a great meal has beeen a huge blessing, then we play games, sing, worship, talk, laugh, watch little house on the praiire. And go to bed.

The next couple of days we will be sight seeing in the afternoon. Taking in the beatuy of South Africa. We will meet with people in the morning and then go sight seeing in the after noon. We love all of you - please join us in prayer AWAKE AWAKE OH MASI - AWAKE from your slumber and set your eyes on Jesus the Author and Perfector of our Faith. Sign off - Marcy

AWESOME GOD

We are seeing so many answered prayers already. As a group before coming we prayed for specific people tyo pour Christ love into and He has placed some a mazing people into our lives. DAnmike and Kevin mety this boy (17yrs) named Godknows (dont you love that name) he is an orphan from zimbabwae. He has nobody here and has been spending all his days with the guys of the team. Asking lots of questions about Jesus and really taking in all that He is learning. He is also a b-ball player. He has a lot of potential so we pray that the words of Christ take deep root into his life. That little boy that I was telling you about named backie - he is an amazing boy. he plays with logan everyday asfter school and he can speak english which is rare for little boys to speak. he has a lot of charisma so our prayer is that we would be able to meet his family. Christina is a single mom that I have been getting to know. she was just baptized a month ago and is so eager to learn about Jesus. Many of us went to different house churches last night. So powerful to seek after God with our African brothers and sisters. A lot of the girls in the group went with Missy yesterday to meet some children that are orphaned or that will be soon. Their parents have died of AIDS or are dying. It was an emotional day and a lot to process. One of our prayters is that we could use the extra money that God has blessed us with and use it for these children. My time is running out on the internet (everything is timed) so i need to sign out. Blessings - Marcy

Basketball Shoes

Yesterday afternoon Sawyer, Kevin, Brayden, Logan, DanMike and Jeremiah went and played B-ball with some guys from Masi. Tim (a local missionary) has organized this b-ball time with some guys. Last year Sawyer and Kevin played only a couple of times. But one of the times SAwyer went without Kevin and saw that a teenager didnt have any shoes and was playing in flip flops - so after playing Sawyer gave his shoes to this kid. Yesterday the first person to show up at the b-ball courts was this kid (i am sooo bad with names) - he took a look at Sawyer and then pointed to his shoes. The sme shoes that Sawyer gave to him last year.and began to thank him profusely. He remembered Sawyer from last year, only after seeing him twice. God didnt have to give sawyer the opportunity to meet this boy again but in His huge grace did (1st day in Masi) it was profound to Sawyer. This boy gave his life to Jesus this year and I have a feeling that we will be hanging out with him and his friends hopefully a doorway into the lives of the lost. Logan also met a little friend last night (Becky) a little boy) while everyone else was playing b-ball Logan was climbing trees with Beckie. Brayden and Ally are coming into their own also. At worship this morning Brayden asked if wecould organize a play day with the kids who live in the wet lands, Masi is so poverished - the smells and the trash and the hungry kids and families, but the wetlands is behind Masi with no roads and is more poverished. Brayden has a real desire to help these little kids out. His big smile and his love for kids is a gifting he picks them up and loves on them. Pray for opportunity for Braydens desire to come to pass. Our time as a team coming before the LORD is WOW!! WE are seeing answered prayer, which we are so grateful for. but coming into the presence of God - really there is nothing like it - In His great love continues to transform us.

This morning during prayer time it hit me - after I still struggle with short term missions - the need is so great and sometime I wrestle with how does our time here really make a difference.

God is showing me that if we just came here in on our own to do good then it would be here today and gone tommorrow. But partnering up with our Almighty God and letting Him work through us - then it is not us at all doing anything and God's work is everlasting - He can grow any seed that is planted - We can encourage people and be the voice of Jesus. God's Word does not return void - Yes - Gods Way is not our way - and we dont understand sometimes but His way is so much bigger. So we go and walk by faith that through us He does work. Isnt our God amazing!! Our team is doing great together - we spurr each other on and let everyone use their own giftings. It has been amazing to be in community with Julie, Sheraya. Chelsea, DanMike, Michelle, Brad, Jeremiah and Missy. Please pray for each of us. God is opening many doors for each indiviual. Julie has made relationship with a young mom, whose mother is a witch doctor in Masi, she is very receptive to Julie and wants Julie to keep coming back. Its only our 2nd day in Masi but it feels like we have been here for a long time. The guys will be playing b-ball again tonight and we (girls) will be going to our 1st simple church meeting tonight with teenage girls. Missy meets with these girls weekly. Looking forward to this. Learing alot about simple church. I will blog about that later, Anyway praying all is well at home. WE miss everyone but we are taking in all our time here and holding out our hands to serve but also to receive from God all that He pours out. And praise God it has been 70 degrees and sunny since we have been here. Signing off- Blessings in Christ

MASI

Today was our first day in Masi. The long anticipation of meeting the people that our hearts already loved. We prayer walked this morning in the village. They live in little shacks with 4 walls and a tin ceiling. The ladies keep their place so clean and are so praoud of what they have. The Kids are doing well. we would walk up and down the streets and the little kids would chase us down, touch our hair and our faces. We had a chance to pray with several people. One story that that was profound was Brad Klaver, Sawyer and Tim (al local) went up to some woman and asked if they could pray for them Brad prayed that they would know their worth in Christ and called them beloved. The woman couldnt hold back the tears. The thing that hits me more and more is that we are all created in the image of God. and our hearts all yearn for the same thing - LOVE - The Love of Jesus and the Love of others. Kevin as a lot of opportunity to do dome building, we are praying for disernemnt to where the biggest needs are, Sawyer and Kevin and the rest of the guys will be playing B-ball tonight. WE will be taking a teenage girl shopping, she is abused and her dad got rid of all her clothes. We are already seeing God Breaking through. please continue to pray. WE love you guys. and we are doing soo good,

GRADITUDE

This will be a quick entry because i am fighting against the clock (time limit on the computer) WE made it. We are in South Africa and it feels so good. Beautiful counrty, great people, it is soo good to be with missy and jeremiah. they are doing well. the kids did great on the plane, the travel was a breeze. we are going to the ocean today and just have a free day of exploring the area. Sunday will be the same - enjoying each other company and maybe mountian climbing and some orentation for the ministry that we will be doing starting Monday. WE got here at 4:50 am got to the team house we crashed and woke up t noon to a beuatiful day. God is so good. WE love you all wish you were here. Ill type more probably on monday - signing off for now - love - marcy

TRUST

Three days and counting... My first entry was about my inward jurney with God over this past year. I pray that my inward journey is only at the beginning stage, because it has been the most life changing time in my life. I didnt have to travel to any foreingn land to find brokeness and poverty. I found it in my own heart. Sitting quiet at the feet of my Saviour - I have met a God who is greater that I could have dared to hope for. Surrender. For me it was a wrestling match with God - I was hanging on to what I beleived God to be and who I thought I was. God was telling me to let go. Let go of how I live, let go of what people think, let go of my kids suceeding in sports, let go of being busy even for "God", let go of my pride, my fear, my unbelief. Let go so I can come in and lead.

This winter and spring i have cryed more tears and have had my fist in the air trying to make sense of what God is calling me to be and about two months ago He woke me up and told me to open my Bible. The words that jumped off the page shot through my heart. It is probably one of the first verses I ever learned and I have recited over and over but on this early morning this verse went from my head to my heart

"Trust in the LORD, do not lean on your own understanding but in all your ways aknowlege Him and He will make staight your paths;" Prov 3:5&6

Trust, Trust, Trust - do you trust? Trust and Obey

Jesus says "take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light: Matt 11:29&30

I am finding Jesus words true - running with the herd - trying to keep up and chasing after things that I can never attain is wearisome - when I sit with Jesus and let Him love me - life gets so simple - Love God and love others. God let me love Kevin the way you do, let me build Him up and help him be all that you created Him to be, let me love my kids the way you do, let me see them each the way you do. Give me grace and wisdom to parent them and help them be all that you intend for them to be. Prince and Princess for you. Let me love the world through your perfect love with expecting anything from people but putting all my hope in you.

I started this entry saying three more days - three more days until my family leaves for South
Africa. This calling is one of the wrestling matches I had to turn over to God, He put this desire on Kevins heart to bring our family to Africa. I had the desire but struggled with "is this my desire or Gods desire," and how would we fly 6 people over there and have Kevin take 3 weeks off from work, and really who are we, and what difference could we really make for Christ Kingdom. God had to break me of huge pride and unbelief and spoke over me "Marcy this is not about you even a little bit, this is about Me and My glory, I chose you and I will work through you if you will let me but you need to let go of control" Getting to this point has been grueling and excilirating. He is teaching me that flowing in the current with Him is so much easier than trying to hold on and flow against Him. As I type I wish that I could pencil the words I feel toward God I will try. He is HUGE, AWESOME, LOVING and KIND I marvel at his GOODNESS. He is FAITHFUL to His promises, His ways are incredible, His timing is precise. He is a miracle worker. I have seen so many. The fact that He would choose us is a miracle, the way He has used so many people in our lives to be the hands, feet and voice of Jesus has been amazing. We are a product of Gods Kingdom breaking in and forth. The way people sacrifically give finacially has brought our family to our knees. The encouraging sometime prophetic words spoken to us were key in preparation for this trip. This has been an unfamiliar journey for us - probably because we are walking by faith and not by sight - the spiritual warfare at times has been intense "batlefield of the mind" The prayer that people have offered to God on our behalf is unbelievable. I'm starting to see and understand God's Way. He wants community and fellowship for us - we get strengthen by each other. As we journey to a far away place we take your words, your prayers and love with us. We are going with 6 other people from our church - they have become dear friends to us - we leave August 7th and return August 28th.

I know that what God is calling us to is more than this trip - it is a calling on our lives to continue to seek after Him - To have the scales fall from our eyes and see - really see and to live life desperate for more of Jesus and His ways and less of me and my ways -This trip is a learning opportunity to expereince the heart of God - For He is the father to the orphan, and His heart breaks over the oppressed.


People have been asking "how are you doing, what are you feeling" I want to express that I have NEVER experinced this kind of peace in all my life. I dont know what the next 3 weeks holds for us but I do know who holds our hand. Experiencing that wherever God is at is where I want to be. To God be the Glory for the Great Things He has Done. We love each of you so much. We are blessed by the greatest faimly and friends. I will try and communicate a lot while we are gone in this space. We may be going to Africa physically - we take you with us in our heart - you are the wind beneath our wings.

Signing off for now - lots to be done. Next time I type in this space God willing we will be in a different country. Walk in the truth that JESUS IS VICTOR!!

Delight

Okay - im doing it - i am a blogger - i never thought i would do this because i feel vulnerable but this blog is my testimony about God's greatness in my life. God has been pursuing me and it has been over this last year that I finally entered into a season where I was quiet before Him and let Him have all of me. I call it my inward journey. Getting quiet before God has been one of the hardest and yet the most life transforming things I do. I have believed in Jesus most my life as my Saviour, but it has only been in the last couple of years where Jesus is becoming my everything, and I feel like i am only beginning this journey, there is so much to learn and discover about God, i know it will take all this life and eternity - and even though most of the things that have occurred between God and me cant be penciled down - i can share that a miracle is happening, there is a little less of me and a little more of Jesus. The whole chapter of Psalm 37 is one I have camped out on and has become a favorite of mine especially vs 4 "Delight in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." Everyday I pray "God become my delight" He answer this prayer - I am not the same person and God is the delight of my life and the desires of my heart are changing. I so desperately want to live by His spirit and not by my flesh. I want to be about the Kingdom of God and not the kingdom of Marcy. I am so aware that I am desperate for Jesus every second because He is my strength and I am so proned to wander.

So... Jesus is the delight of my life but that is only a part of it, the other truth that God has been trying to infuse in every part of me is that He delights in me. WOW!! There is nothing that I can offer to him. He loves me and you just because He does. When I think of delight - words like happy, love, pleasure, joy, a smile. Does God really think that of me of you? That is the the truth of the gospel isnt it?!! For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3: 16. It is the message of the whole Bible Read Zeph 3:17, Ephesians 1:3-13, how about Isaiah49:16. (Just a few) God has my, your, name engraved on his hand. God who spoke the heavens and earth into existance, the God that all creation bows down to (Ps 19) the God that the heavenly beings shout Holy Holy Holy is the LORD God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. Is the same God that loves you and me so much that became flesh and lived a life of a servant (a servant to us) and died the most horrific death - to make a way for us to come back to Him.WOW - King made servant, Lion becoming a slaughtered lamb, Conquerored the death that I deserve and now is raised up. His name is above every name. And every knee will bow and mouth confess the Jesus Christ is Lord. This is TRUTH! May this truth burn a fire in my gut, may this truth bring me to my knees, may this truth be the truth I center my life around. Forgive my unbelief God - give me more faith to live more courageously for you in my world. Help me to walk by faith and not by sight and thank you God for loving me so much that went to such great length to prove your love to me and that right now you continue to pursue me.

In my life - Jesus be lifted high
In my world - Jesus be lifted high
In my love - Jesus be lifted high