TRUST

Three days and counting... My first entry was about my inward jurney with God over this past year. I pray that my inward journey is only at the beginning stage, because it has been the most life changing time in my life. I didnt have to travel to any foreingn land to find brokeness and poverty. I found it in my own heart. Sitting quiet at the feet of my Saviour - I have met a God who is greater that I could have dared to hope for. Surrender. For me it was a wrestling match with God - I was hanging on to what I beleived God to be and who I thought I was. God was telling me to let go. Let go of how I live, let go of what people think, let go of my kids suceeding in sports, let go of being busy even for "God", let go of my pride, my fear, my unbelief. Let go so I can come in and lead.

This winter and spring i have cryed more tears and have had my fist in the air trying to make sense of what God is calling me to be and about two months ago He woke me up and told me to open my Bible. The words that jumped off the page shot through my heart. It is probably one of the first verses I ever learned and I have recited over and over but on this early morning this verse went from my head to my heart

"Trust in the LORD, do not lean on your own understanding but in all your ways aknowlege Him and He will make staight your paths;" Prov 3:5&6

Trust, Trust, Trust - do you trust? Trust and Obey

Jesus says "take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy and my burden is light: Matt 11:29&30

I am finding Jesus words true - running with the herd - trying to keep up and chasing after things that I can never attain is wearisome - when I sit with Jesus and let Him love me - life gets so simple - Love God and love others. God let me love Kevin the way you do, let me build Him up and help him be all that you created Him to be, let me love my kids the way you do, let me see them each the way you do. Give me grace and wisdom to parent them and help them be all that you intend for them to be. Prince and Princess for you. Let me love the world through your perfect love with expecting anything from people but putting all my hope in you.

I started this entry saying three more days - three more days until my family leaves for South
Africa. This calling is one of the wrestling matches I had to turn over to God, He put this desire on Kevins heart to bring our family to Africa. I had the desire but struggled with "is this my desire or Gods desire," and how would we fly 6 people over there and have Kevin take 3 weeks off from work, and really who are we, and what difference could we really make for Christ Kingdom. God had to break me of huge pride and unbelief and spoke over me "Marcy this is not about you even a little bit, this is about Me and My glory, I chose you and I will work through you if you will let me but you need to let go of control" Getting to this point has been grueling and excilirating. He is teaching me that flowing in the current with Him is so much easier than trying to hold on and flow against Him. As I type I wish that I could pencil the words I feel toward God I will try. He is HUGE, AWESOME, LOVING and KIND I marvel at his GOODNESS. He is FAITHFUL to His promises, His ways are incredible, His timing is precise. He is a miracle worker. I have seen so many. The fact that He would choose us is a miracle, the way He has used so many people in our lives to be the hands, feet and voice of Jesus has been amazing. We are a product of Gods Kingdom breaking in and forth. The way people sacrifically give finacially has brought our family to our knees. The encouraging sometime prophetic words spoken to us were key in preparation for this trip. This has been an unfamiliar journey for us - probably because we are walking by faith and not by sight - the spiritual warfare at times has been intense "batlefield of the mind" The prayer that people have offered to God on our behalf is unbelievable. I'm starting to see and understand God's Way. He wants community and fellowship for us - we get strengthen by each other. As we journey to a far away place we take your words, your prayers and love with us. We are going with 6 other people from our church - they have become dear friends to us - we leave August 7th and return August 28th.

I know that what God is calling us to is more than this trip - it is a calling on our lives to continue to seek after Him - To have the scales fall from our eyes and see - really see and to live life desperate for more of Jesus and His ways and less of me and my ways -This trip is a learning opportunity to expereince the heart of God - For He is the father to the orphan, and His heart breaks over the oppressed.


People have been asking "how are you doing, what are you feeling" I want to express that I have NEVER experinced this kind of peace in all my life. I dont know what the next 3 weeks holds for us but I do know who holds our hand. Experiencing that wherever God is at is where I want to be. To God be the Glory for the Great Things He has Done. We love each of you so much. We are blessed by the greatest faimly and friends. I will try and communicate a lot while we are gone in this space. We may be going to Africa physically - we take you with us in our heart - you are the wind beneath our wings.

Signing off for now - lots to be done. Next time I type in this space God willing we will be in a different country. Walk in the truth that JESUS IS VICTOR!!