HEAVINESS

...weighs in my heart today.


Praying and thinking about a family from church that a little over a week ago had a baby girl with Downs Snydrome and a major heart defect. Doctors telling them to go home with their precious little girl and not giving her much time here on this earth. Watching this family walk this heart wrenching walk has been great testimony to living in God's strength. How as parents do you live in a place of "is this the day where Jesus calls her home" and each moment with her having more and more of your heart swell with love for her. We're believing God for a miracle that this precious one will have many days/years here with her family but also knowing that God knows the number of days He has planned for her.


Praying and thinking about another family in our church who got horrible news that their 18 year old daughter got killed in a snowmobile accident. Her funeral is tomorrow. They too, through their raw grief are giving testimony to the goodness of God. Only through His strength.



Praying and thinking about the devastation in Haiti with the 7.0 earthquake. All the lives lost, the pain and chaos that many are living in. My mind cant imagine, Our friends who have been waiting for two years to bring their adopted son home, hearing in their voice the urgency to get him out of there. Also hearing testimony of missionaries there, who run a certain orphanage, getting all the children out of the building and camping under the stars these past few nights - and a midst all the chaos they, with all the little orphans worship - They worship loudly and boldly to the King of Kings causings others to come and find HOPE.


Praying and thinking about our friends in Africa - reading about all the needs, from orphans, to widows, to training the men. Its daily survival for so many people. Seeing a video from my dear friend Vovo, thanking everyone for being the hands and feet of Jesus - and hearing her heart to be a place of PEACE in her dark community of Masi.



praying and thinking about my sister's family who are in Colombia right now, just received their two precious adopted daughters last month, and posting a blog entry today about all the orphans in just one orphanage in Bogota, who so badly want a family or their own - coming up to my sister asking "mia mamma" you be my mom?!! Also, knowing that the journey of parenting is a hard calling - one of the hardest - and yet anticipating what God is going to do in them and through them.


Overwhelming all the hurt, pain, need. Sometimes I can look at all this and say it's too much!! and get stuck at being so overwhelmed and not doing anything.



What God has been teaching me over these past few weeks is about His GRACE in my life. He is showing me my poverty, my need, my weakness, my sin. I dont need to go around the world to find it's in me.

He is showing me that it is 100% HIM. He pursues, He teaches, He opens hearts. It is nothing that I have done or could ever do.


On any given day I know more than ever, that I am so proned to wander. I desperatly seek His GRACE and His STRENGTH each moment. because on my own i always fail.



So having this truth being shown to me in a profound way - I now can look at other's pain, sin, poverty, and weakness and know that this is me and in and of myself there is nothing I can do - BUT also knowing the same power that raised Christ from the grave lives in me. And there is the diffence. ITS ALL JESUS.

And that is WHO I have to offer to this chaotic world.


I am thankful that we have a Father in Heaven - that never leaves us or forsakes us. I am beyond words to know that JESUS entered into my poverty and ugliness by death on a cross, so that I can be raised up from ashes to beauty - just as He is raised up in all SPELNDOR and POWER sitting on the Throne of Grace where we have open access to HIM.

Our calling as His Bride is to ready ourselves for HIS coming - and to bring PEACE into chaos one moment and one person at a time.


May the church rise up - May we each in our own calling and place, make the Name of Jesus Famous by living out our mission boldly and courageously.

Many of our questions will not be answered in this life... but oh, when we see JESUS face to face, our faith will be made sight. So lets link arms and throw off anything that is entangling us and run... run hard after the prize.